2023 is off to a great start for Annie and I. I almost feel hesitant to commit that to writing out of fear that it will change, yet I know it is bound to change whether I write it down or not. So I might as well document this lovely streak of flow, right? This start to the new year just feels so good to me and I feel so hopeful when I look to the future.
So with the start of a new year and the annually occurring theme of goal-setting, I've done a lot of reflecting on what I've accomplished in the past year and what I hope to move toward this year. I can see that 2022 was the year of reawakening my inner knowing, and with that in mind, 2023 feels like the year for learning how to tune into it at a moment's notice. That is my overarching goal for the year which I plan to achieve through mindfulness and introspection. I am practicing quieting the thoughts and opinions of others in favor of listening to myself. It's not my responsibility to keep up with what everyone else is doing. It is, however, my responsibility to cultivate my unique gifts and share them as I feel called to, not how I think I should based on the thoughts and feelings of others.
I used to think that I was thriving with a ton of parameters in place and pre-determined boxes to check. I now recognize that is simply what I was conditioned to do. By following a set regimen of what I thought I should be doing (setting SMART goals, making tedious checklists, etc.) I assumed that I was being successful, but that was again based on what I thought I should do, not necessarily what I felt called to do. Long story short, I've fallen victim too many times to "shoulding" all over myself and I'm ready to release that.
I've come to learn that I don't really align with setting concrete goals which is why I have always struggled to set them. I feel so much more fulfilled when I set loose or feeling-based goals. This approach allows space for life to unfold more naturally for me. I'm better at filling in the gaps as I come across them as I head in the general direction of where I feel called to go.
So with that said, I've created the skeleton of my goals for the first three months of the year and will now shift my focus to allowing Annie and my intuition build the muscles that will move it forward, supported by the fascia of time and patience. Our three month skeleton currently looks like working on both of our physical conditioning in preparation for more ridden work with a healthy dash of space for play while also incorporating rest days and a day dedicated to practicing energy/body work.
A huge win I wanted to share for Annie this week came on Saturday evening. It was terribly windy out and as a result, it was super loud in the indoor arena between the wind itself and the snow it was blowing up against and around it. This didn't change my game plan for working on physical conditioning exercises that evening but I certainly kept in mind that the overabundance of noise would likely impact Annie's ability to focus on some level. We set off into our work as normal and were joined by another boarder with her horse shortly after. I stuck to the middle of the arena where I had laid out my poles while she hand walked her horse around the rail. Her horse ended up spooking quite a few times at some of the loud noises that the arena was producing. And understandably so, I swear the wind knew just when he was walking by the big door that exits to the outside! Anyways. Despite needing a few moments to pause and breathe throughout our session if the wind picked up, the only thing Annie really reacted to at all was the other horse spooking if they were behind her the first couple of times that it happened. And that reaction was simply to scoot forward a max of maybe three steps so she could turn and either look at me or look at the other horse and she quickly relaxed. Her tolerance for situations and the time it takes for her to reconnect with me afterwards has improved so much in the last couple of years. I really think that if it had just been windy and the other horse didn't spook, she would have been totally fine, which again is such a stark difference from the horse that came to me a couple of years ago.
As for myself, I'm the first to say that I really dislike going to the gym but I'm super proud to say that I've started going anyways to support my own body. Huge shoutout here to my husband, Josh, for being my gym buddy! I've subscribed to the Train Like Athletes equestrian fitness program since July of 2022 and been following the workouts at home, but I definitely feel that it's time to take things to the next level. With riding goals on our radar, it's only fair that I dedicate myself to conditioning my body just as much as Annie's. So my huge win for the week is showing up out of my comfort zone and going to the gym (at 5am!) twice this week.
I've felt extra super solid and grounded in working with my students and their horses this week and am reveling in how much fun it is to work with all of them. Teaching and training with others is such a positive source of energy for me. Horses are not (yet!) my full-time job so I've had the privilege of being very selective of the humans I bring into my space and that has truly been a blessing for me. It allows me to cultivate deep friendships with a beautiful and growing group of humans who truly seek to grow with their horses in a space where we can all feel comfortable going from vulnerable to silly and everything in between without fear of consequence. I can't begin to express how amazing it feels to hear from you all how much you truly appreciate and value what I have to offer. Whether you're a student of mine or a follower of my social media, I have so much love for you all for joining me. I'm so grateful to be a part of your journey, no matter how big or small.
So while it's only been a week so far, I feel great about our trajectory for the year. Annie feels so energetically light, emotionally ready, and physically stronger than she has since we began our journey in early 2020. My personal development is well underway and my work as The Positive Pony feels more potent than ever. Where I might have felt anxiety around the unknowns of the coming year, I feel excited knowing that means it is full of possibilities. I've kept to my loose goals (personal and professional) without feeling overwhelmed or fearful of burnout. And full transparency - I've already made some tweaks to ensure the sustainability of this. I'm also feeling super proud of the personal work I've done and continue to do that have allowed me not to see these early tweaks as failures, but rather as preventative measures that have been guided by my inner knowing to ensure my long-term success.
And with that first weekly recap of 2023, I'll leave you with this week's empowering observations, my Equestrian Reflection* journal prompt and response, and my Equestrian Oracle* card pull for the coming week!
Empowering Observations:
Be mindful of the difference between "I am" versus "I feel" and how it impacts you. I tend to think that I am quite good at labeling what I am feeling, but something that I've noticed is that I definitely fall into the trap of saying "I am confused" or "I am just disappointed". Rather than thinking something like "I am angry" or "Annie is anxious", I will practice shifting my thoughts to "I feel angry right now" or "Annie seems to feel anxious in this moment." We are not just our feelings and those momentary feelings do not define us forever!
Physical/external balance is best achieved after emotional/internal balance. In working on Annie's physical conditioning again, I've found her to be so much more open to exploring and finding her own balance. She used to exhibit frustration when she felt unbalanced but now seems to feel much less bothered by these moments as she feels more at home in her body. We both spent so much of last year focusing on emotional and spiritual healing that I can now see how much that is now coming through in our physical presence. I certainly also attribute some of this shift in Annie to practicing the Balance Through Movement Pillars (Relationship to Connection, Center of Balance, and Spinal Integrity) but I think the energy work we have done has really allowed our BTMM practice to shine in a way that would not be possible otherwise.
Equestrian Reflection
Journal Prompt: I can experience more joy with my horse by...
I can experience more joy with Annie by being in the present moment with her and by setting an intention of experiencing joy in our time together. Much like the red car theory (you buy a red car then suddenly see the same red car everywhere), if I resolve to look for joy in our interactions, I will certainly find it. We don't need to have a knockout, totally amazing training or energy/bodywork session in order to find moments of joy. I will fully accept and whole-heartedly embrace "small" moments such as Annie greeting me in the pasture as a truly joyful moment regardless of anything and everything that has happened before or will happen after.
Affirmation: I deserve to feel joyful. It benefits not only myself, but everyone around me.
Equestrian Oracle
Theme for the Upcoming Week
Look in the Mirror
Embody your kind thoughts and use the judgmental ones as a pathway to finding empathy for yourself, your horse, and everyone around you. You're doing your best.
*The Equestrian Reflection and Equestrian Oracle cards are courtesy of Felicity Davies and can be purchased directly from her here.
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